Just one of those nights

“I want to tear myself from this place, from this reality, rise up like a cloud and float away, melt into this humid summer night and dissolve somewhere far, over the hills. But I am here, my legs blocks of concrete, my lungs empty of air, my throat burning. There will be no floating away.”

For the one whom I can entrust

I make mistakes. I disappoint.

I am only human.

But i’m glad I have you here

Shining hope on an otherwise darkened path.

A reminder that while tough,

Life has glimmers that light up

At the very least, the short way ahead.

And so it begins… Once more

After a year’s hiatus, I think the time has come to make a decision – the demise or the progress. The latter’s a good start to this new movement. Realization for the day comes down to this. It’s not about the dreams or hopes we conjure up in this beautiful mind of ours. It’s the courage to take that step to kickstart fulfilling those thoughts into reality, regardless of the challenges mounting up the path in front of us.

In the spirit of doing some good during this holy month, here goes the first test of courage. Gambatte!

I love battle/strategy games and the occasional war film. Yet, conflict is the one thing I dislike. Sure, a clash here and there is healthy but I certainly won’t go around looking for one. Maybe just a little.

A Year On

Things change, don’t they?

A year ago, I would have loved to be your rock. I saw what you were. Accepted the flaws and embraced the perfection. And yet, I couldn’t inspire you to the greatness you were meant to uphod.

Sure, I loved you. Yet, I challenged your beliefs. No one else defied you like I did. But perhaps, the time just wasn’t right.

Now, if indeed those words you said are true, I’m glad. Melancholic that I’ll never belong to that part of your world again, but glad that perhaps, your future’s been paved once again.

We just weren’t right.
A year it’s been.
And now, there’s light.
Down the path we’ve always seen.
I may have loved you, but not anymore it seems.

….

On another note, of everyone, you are the least I expected to linger. The mind is a dangerous object. It objects all and every notion of a possibility and yet, the heart yearns. Here’s to the hope that it is all just wishful leanings, for there’s no way I’ll risk this thing we’ve build dear friend.

…

And here’s to basking in love for this last month of summer.

Happy Straight Ahead

It’s been almost mechanically repetitive. I suppose I’ve joined that routine life we all try to escape. But I’ve realised, it isn’t what you do that makes you different, rather, what goes through our complicated maze of a mind.

“Maybe the truth is, there’s a little bit of loser in all of us. Being happy isn’t having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it’s about stringing together all the little things.”

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

As a generalment, the what-I-want list has streamlined. Or perhaps, the understanding of what I wish doesn’t equate happiness has finally sunk in. The end product is a mild mild object, perhaps not fated to attain certain expectations. Whatever it is, the road to HAPPY is straight ahead.

Summer Love

It’s been awhile. Summer holidays have begun. And honestly, I haven’t been up to any real good considering it’s officially the last long break I have before final year at school begins, followed by the beckoning calls of responsible adult working life. But like Ms Niffenegger says in her best book yet,

“I’m living under water. Everything seems slow and far away. I know there’s a world up there, a sunlit quick world where time runs like dry sand through an hourglass, but down here, where I am, air and sound and time and feeling are thick and dense.”

Every summer, I take the opportunity to run and hide. (Perhaps, not just in the summers) It’s a surreal feeling to take a step back and see things through a whole different perspective. To maybe understand things the way others do, but most importantly, to have that chance to actually see the things right in front of me. In doing so, I regularly ignore a significant number of people. I’m not sure that’s acceptable, but its the one moment to step away from unnecessary distractions. As it is, the distraction pile has far towered over me. And in spite of all the dark things that have happened the past year, I’m glad I’m out on this other side, finding the amusing take on life.

Here’s to almost 2 more months of summer and summer flings. And a whole lot more fun.